When you go down the rabbit hole of nostalgia you sometimes get stuck in the twisting maze of the warren. Since I wrote my last post on the 5 Toys I Wish I Had As A Kid, I started to think about other toys that I hadn’t thought about in years.
The first batch of 5 all had a “childhood scarring” aura to them, but this batch is just cool shit I wished I had. Of course there were the holy grails of toys like I mentioned before (AT-AT, U.S.S. Flagg) but those I think need to be on a separate list one day.
5. G.I. Joe Train Set (Tyco, 1983)
When this beauty came out I was all about wanting a train set, so it seemed like a match made in heaven. Sadly I never got it, or any train set for that matter. The set came with all the trimming a normal set would but also sported tiny G.I. Joe and Cobra vehicles and people. This would have been more fun than NASCAR, watching cars go in a circle for hours.
Tyco used this same formula on other properties from the ’80s, and that’s a little sad. Cut and paste much Tyco? Man, even B.A. looks disappointed, but the rest look happy for the pay check.
4. G.I. Joe: Cobra S.N.A.K.E. (Hasbro, 1983)
While on the topic of G.I. Joe, I always wanted the Cobra S.N.A.K.E. Battle Armor. With a forced acronym S.N.A.K.E. stood for System: Neutralizer – Armed Kloaking Equipment. For some reason I fell for this little and cheap battle armor ever since I saw it on the shelves at the local toy store, Toy Stop. I seemed to remember it was a blinked and you missed it item because I can’t recall seeing it in the wild other than that one time. I just thought of a question, if Cobra is bad why is a lot of their stuff white? Trouble Bubble, C.L.A.W. etc…
3. Talking KITT 2000 (Kenner, 1983)
Knight was a big deal when it came out. It was every boys dream to have a talking super car, and David Hasslehoff was as rad a dude you could find. This toy said dialog from the show and got extra points for having the same look of the tan leather interior. If only it had the moving red light and a watch you could talk into to control it. The Michael Knight Figure had the hair molded to perfection, the leather jacket, and turtle neck shirt, pure ’80s gold. “Turbo Boost KITT.”
Holy Crap…I take that back about the watch controlled KITT…it exists…in Korea !!!
2. Krusher (Mattel, 1979)
The ’70s were the best year for martial arts, sci-fi, and monsters. Krusher was a rubber monster toy that utilized Stretch Armstrong mechanics. Instead of being stretched, Krusher was…well crushed. You could smash him down into a little crumbled up rubber mess, then turn a knob on the back to return air into him. this allowed him to bounce back to his full 14″ form. Aside from that, he was an awesome monster toy that has a great design. I still wish I had this gruesome dude on a shelf in my side of the laundry room.
1. Gre-Gore (Mattel , 1979)
Gre-Gore the Big Bad Vampire Bat was another soft rubber monster from the same line as Krusher and Suckerman. He had blood pumping action in his chest that worked when you pushed a button on his back. Mattel also used this feature on the He-Man figure Mosquitor (which is a classic) and the six-million dollar man like Pulsar, but who wouldn’t re-use this awesome feature . His tiny bat feet could be either mistaken for a little bat “alone time” feature or to be hung upside down. I’m guessing Mattel chose the latter. This, like Krusher were toys my friends with older siblings had in their stash and I envied the crap outta them for it. Monster toys are no where as cool nowadays, and we are all worse off for it.