Name: Fatal Fluffies
From: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero
Classification: An adorable creature with a deadly, secret split-personality.
The G.I. Joe animated series was crazy, but it was a good crazy. Who am I kidding it was a GREAT kind of crazy that is rarely seen nowadays. The most basic of ideas, a group of American service men and women who fight against a would be world dictator and his privately funded army. That premise alone would have launched a cartoon, toy line, and comic book, but Hasbro and Sunbow had another idea. Day after day, after school we were treated to some real genre bending ideas that I credit for making me the person I am today. There are countless examples of episodes that were written with a “devil-may-care” attitude that still impact my interests today.
In the third G.I. Joe mini-series (and the first story arc of the ongoing cartoon series), the Joes try to stop their constant, insufferable foe COBRA from unleashing a global weapon called, The Pyramid of Darkness.
Zartan and Cobra seize control of the Delta Space Station and use it to harness their nefarious plan to control the world’s electricity by emitting an EMP like barrier around sections of the planet. You know, a normal would-be world despot plan.
The Joe Team flies to the Delta Space Station to try and regain control, but are met by…well, I’ll let the video clip explain the rest.
Just like with some of the COBRA vehicle ideas, I can see Cobra Commander chilling out at the COBRA O-Club (Officers Club), having a few drinks (probably fruity) and jotting down a few ideas on cocktail napkins about ways to stop G.I. Joe and ultimately take over the world.
Later that night he barges into the secret COBRA research and development lab and loudly asks (drunk) “Have any of you seen the hit Hollywood movie Gremlins?”. Not waiting for an answer from the lab techs and scientists he tosses his scrawled upon napkins on a lab table and quickly leaves while manically laughing. Sadly for them that happens almost weekly, just not with Gremlins of course but with any hit movie that happens to be in the COBRA movie theater (pirated of course) at the time.
To be honest, there is little information on the Fatal Fluffies and if they were created by COBRA or were something else entirely. The G.I. Joe animated series was no-holds-barred when it came to…anything really. G.I. Joe lived in a world with ghosts, monsters, magic, gods, aliens, and really anything else that warped the mind (like mine) and progressed the plot. So they could be a creature that COBRA found and enslaved, an alien species, or like I first stated, created by COBRA. Either way COBRA controls the Fatal Fluffies with little more than a whistle.
And I also have to point out that they can breath fire (which is awesome in a sealed oxygen enriched space station) but also use guns. How METAL is that!!
First things first, the Fatal Furries are hated by the Joe Fandom but I absolutely love them. It was creatures and plots like this that really set G.I. Joe apart from other cartoons at the time. Episodes like this one are more easily remembered because of the bat shit craziness. Like I said, the G.I. Joe cartoon didn’t shy away from weirdness, but some things really took the cake. But to be honest, the whole Dreadnoks riding their motorcycles in Zero G’s was also wicked awesome.
At the end of the mission the Joe Team turned the Fatal Fluffies against Zartan and the Dreadnoks and took back control of the Delta Space Station.
Sadly, nothing is known about the Fatal Fluffies after this episode. In my gut I fear they were either sucked out into space through the airlock by the Joes or turned back into their cute and cuddly forms and executed with a double tap to the back of the head. Either way, the Joes are good guys so it would have been humane.
Like I said before the “fans” hate the very idea of the Fatal Furries, so glimpses of them after this 1985 mini-series are very, very rare.
They did make an appearance in the mobile phone card collecting game, G.I. Joe: Battleground.
AND in the IDW G.I. Joe comic Book, only a little more monstrous and subterranean.
And even some fans have gone to great lengths to create Fatal Furries for their toy collections, which is so awesome.
The Fatal Furries may be viewed as something that should be left in the past along with the crazy awesome adventures of the G.I. Joe animated show, but why. We have a TV landscape dotted with very few imaginative shows anymore. Most cartoons have fart jokes, barf jokes, and little else. A show like G.I. Joe with the same fantastic sensibilities as it had in the ’80s could really do well because there is nothing else like it on TV. Heck, my kids love watching the old DVDs with me and they are the target audience.