WTF Christmas Decorations

Christmas is a time of wonder, peace, and love…it also seems to some that it is a time to throw all that shit out the window and be as raunchy as they can be. I’ll give you Halloween can be a time for some people to let that freak flag fly and as much as I don’t like it, I accept it. But Christmas? Come on, man!

Now, I’m not a “reason for the season” kinda guy but damnit its a magical time of Santa, elves, and flying reindeer…don’t soil it with this stuff!

Oh, and yes I could have added a lot more but I want to keep this somewhere between PG13 and R rated.

1. “Deck the Balls”?!?!


Now I do find this a bit clever and from what I hear the sales of these “balls” went towards a great cause (testicular cancer research), but I really don’t want to explain this to my children. Well, I guess I could just say it’s an upside down heart.

Oh, and if you are curious there is a realistic version online as well…ugh

2. “Reindeer Games”?!?


The sheer amount of Christmas characters in this “compromising position” is staggering. No one is safe, Mr. and Mrs. Claus, Snow people, and Gingerbread people have all been caught in the act. Most of these ornaments are plastic and cheap but this one was hand crafted and looks like something my Grandmother would have had on her tree…which makes it more soul crushing.

3. “50 Shades of Claus”


Really? Why?

4. “Butt, it’s Christmas”



Would you hang a butt in your house any other time of year? You gotta ask yourself the hard questions sometimes. If the answer is no then why do it at Christmas?

5. “Santa Loves All The Woodland Creatures.”


I’m hoping this bunny is just hiding its eyes from all the debauchery some people bring to the season….God, I hope.

17 thoughts on “WTF Christmas Decorations

  1. Now I gotta admit that I love anti-christmas songs and me sailor mind can be pretty saucy. But this . . . kinda bafflin’. Though I hate xmas anyways. Bah Humbug! I will however dirty the first mate’s mind with this post as I think he will laugh. Though his mind be much dirtier than mine so perhaps the answer will just be a shrug. Me. Still baffled. Hardy har har!
    x The Captain

    Liked by 1 person

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